Impressing Your Future Father in Law With a Fish Finder

Impressing Your Future Father in Law With a Fish Finder

Falling in love with someone is one of the best feelings in the world, and for the most part it is the type of thing that is going to make you want to marry this person at this current point in time. As a result of the fact that this is the case, you would need to propose to her but before you end up doing that you might just need to impress her parents and doing so with her father in law is arguably going to be the single most difficult task that you have ever tried to set out to accomplish if you think about it with all of the right information in place to contextualize all relevant matters pertaining to the situation that you currently find yourself involved in.

Now, the thing about fathers in law is that they often enjoy fishing for leisure. Since you need to impress this man in order to get him to approve you marrying his daughter, chances are that you would need to go on a fishing trip with him without a shadow of a doubt. The only problem with this is that you might not really know all that much about how fishing works which means that you are going to need all of the help that you can get lest you ruin your relationship before it ever even had the chance to start in the way that you had initially been hoping.

The good news is that you can use a fish finder to make matters a great deal easier for you. With a fish finder you can end up getting a truly enormous and impressive haul.

Things You Should Know About Email Marketing

Things You Should Know About Email Marketing

On the surface, email marketing might seem like something that is going to be difficult and technical, but that is not the case, at all. In reality, email marketing is a lot more common and simpler, if you ask me. You just have to be certain that you are doing things the right way, so everything can be handled the right way, and that is the goal, to be honest as you cannot really mess this up.

Now, the good thing is that there are a few things that you should know about email marketing and without that, you might not be able to get that far, in the first place and that is not what we would suggest to anyone. If you want to develop an understanding email marketing, you can actually look into a few things that you should know.

It is Not Out of Fashion

Email marketing is not at all out of fashion and that is important to know, really. I understand that a lot of people are under the impression that they are not really interested in that marketing type anymore but that never is the case as this marketing type is always good and always in fashion.

It Can Be Done Easily

One more thing is that this marketing type can be done easily and the whole process is that you should not have to worry about any issues that might come in the way, either. You just have to take care of some of the basic necessities and that should get you all covered in terms of marketing, to begin with. The goal here is to know as much about email marketing as you possibly can because you do not want to go some other route.

Best Tips For Buying The Best Ballet Shoes

Best Tips For Buying The Best Ballet Shoes

Many kids start learning ballet from a very young age. In order to become a good ballet dancer, your child needs proper attire and the right accessories. One of the most important accessories for a ballet dancer is his ballet shoes.

Proper ballet shoes provide the ballerina with proper grip and more confidence while dancing.

These days, there are lots of different types of ballet shoes available in the market. We will provide you with the best tips for buying the best ballet shoes for dance performance of your child.

Choose Proper Size

While size is important with any type of shoes, buying ballet shoes in a proper size is the most important step. The ballet shoes should fit on your child’s feet like gloves.

If the ballet shoes are loose on your child’s feet They will prevent him from making the most basic movements confidently. Moreover, you should compare the size is used by different brands carefully. This will help you prevent any mistakes in the buying process.

Select The Best Material

Leather and canvas or two of the most used materials for making ballet shoes. Usually, canvas ballet shoes are really easy to clean as you can simply throw them in the washing machine and in the dryer to clean them up perfectly. On the other hand, leather ballet shoes require proper cleaning with leather cleaning products.

The right material for the ballet shoes of your child also depends on the flooring material on which he will mostly practice or perform. For example, canvas ballet shoes are the best for vinyl flooring, and leather ballet shoes are the best for wooden flooring.

These were some of the important tips you should follow when buying ballet shoes for your child.

Read This Before Ordering Banners

Read This Before Ordering Banners

As a business owner, you might be thinking about ordering vinyl banners and displaying them throughout the city to get more sales and make your business well known. That is because vinyl banners are a cost effective way to market your business, and to scale it in the long run.

However, there are certain things you must now before ordering vinyl banners from any manufacturer. So, here are a few things you must read before ordering banners for your business.

Know The Weight of Your Banner

Although there are lots of benefits of using vinyl banners, you must know the exact weight of every banner you will be getting for proper mounting. Considerably heavy banners would require you to use additional support to fix them in place. On the other hand, lighter banners may easily get damaged by wind.

You can actually change the weight of your banner by ordering it in a different material. So, you should always ask about the final weight of your banner before ordering it.

Choose The Right Material

Although vinyl banners are the most used ones in the industry, you can also order banners in other materials. For example, if you are going to buy foldable banners, you should get a material which is hard enough to prevent damage by folding. Exceptionally large banners can also benefit from a nylon mesh.

You should always choose the right material when ordering banners for your business.

Find The Right Mounting Method

A majority of vinyl banners require you to use different ways of mounting them properly. Knowing more about the proper type of mounting system you need to mount your banners always helps in securing them in the best way possible.

These were some of the important things you must know before ordering banners for your business.

One Thing to Make Sure of Before Getting a Personal Injury Lawyer Consultation

One Thing to Make Sure of Before Getting a Personal Injury Lawyer Consultation

The legal profession is one of countless complexities and complications, and this is the very thing that ends up making it crucial to how the world is currently working at any given point in time. However, these complexities can also make it rather easy for an unscrupulous lawyer to get one over on you and take you for pretty much every single thing you’ve got. A big part of the reason why that is the case has to do with the fact that they might try to manipulate you and tell you that they have done something or the other that warrants you paying them some kind of a fee, and that is something that you should be wary of no matter how much they might try to convince you that they only have your best interests at heart.

One thing that you should make sure of before you go for a consultation with a personal injury lawyer is whether or not the initial consultation would be free. Precision Injury Law on LawDeeDa will be very upfront about this, but if a lawyer were to try to avoid talking about it then this is a pretty big warning sign that you should be exceedingly wary about due to where it might lead if you are not careful.

The thing is, lots of lawyers will try to get you to come for a consultation for the purposes of making you pay a fee. This is a practice that is not exactly ethical but these lawyers clearly don’t care about ethics all that much otherwise they wouldn’t be trying to do whatever it is that they are doing right now.

Consider These Factors Before Hiring a Mold Removal Service

Consider These Factors Before Hiring a Mold Removal Service

If you have mold growing in your house, it can become very unhealthy for your family members. Moreover, mold looks really bad, and can even affect your house.

So, whenever you find mold in your house, you must hire the right mold removal company to get rid of the mold infestation.

However, since there are many mold removal companies providing their services in the market, choosing the right one can seem to be very difficult.

Here are some of the most important factors you should consider before hiring a mold removal service for mold removal Atlanta GA.

Experience Matters The Most

Whenever you are hiring a mold removal company, you must consider their experience. That is because experience is the most important qualities of a good mold removal service provider. You should always look for a company who has the right tools, and the right people to do the job perfectly without damaging your house.

Instead of asking for the experience of the whole company, you should ask for the experience of individual technicians who will be working with you. This is a great way of making sure that your work is being done by professionals.

Ask Them About Their Services

A mold removal company will definitely have a mold removal as one of its top services. However, these companies usually provide other services as well. For example, ask if the company you are hiring will also provide you with proper mold assessment before and after the service.

Moreover, some mold companies also fix water leakage related problems in houses. So, they can help you with water leakage as well alongside the mold infestation.

Ask Them For a Quote

Although we have added this as the last tip, you should ask the mold removal company for a quote before asking them anything else. This will help you choose a company which you easily afford.

Buying Roll Dispensers For Your Restaurant

Buying Roll Dispensers For Your Restaurant

If you want to start a business but don’t know what to invest in, one good idea would involve starting some kind of a restaurant. Restaurants are always going to end up earning a fair amount of money as long as you figure out how you can look into managing them and keeping the food quality high. A big part of the reason what that is the case has to do with the fact that people are always going to want something to eat at any given point in time, and if you offer good food then there is no reason why they wouldn’t want to check out your offerings in some way, shape or form.

Now, if you are thinking of following our advice and opening up a restaurant of your very own, you might want to start off by buying a few roll dispensers from Mustang Cleaning Supplies. Your restaurant might serve amazing food, but if it doesn’t have a top notch bathroom then people might not be all that interested in coming to check the food out in the first place since they would feel a little bit uncomfortable at all times.

Roll dispensers are necessary for bathrooms since people are paying good money to eat at your establishment and you should ideally look into giving them the kind of experience that they should ideally be getting based on the fact that they are spending money on you. A roll dispenser would be quite affordable, and it’s also a bit of a luxury if you think about it in terms of how convenient it can make the bathroom experience for most people. Restaurants can be a lot better if they have roll dispensers that are available.

Read This If You Hate Martial Arts And Similar Forms of Training

Read This If You Hate Martial Arts And Similar Forms of Training

High intensity training is tough, it requires a lot of physical effort and mental toughness as well, it requires you to be consistent and disciplined as well, now all these are very hard to achieve, one can easily replace these with things that are more comfortable and enjoyable, now I am not saying that mixed martial arts and combat training is not enjoyable but there are a number of aspects of it which are not fun and there are more reasons for you to leave it, but if you really love yourself and live to fight and stay healthy then you would never ever think about quitting it, following are some of the most important reasons why you should put the effort and not think about going back to what was comfortable.

Being comfortable is not great for your health, human bodies are designed to work and when you challenge your body to a certain extent it reacts differently and it grows differently, from your muscles to your mind, and from how you feel to how you look, it just feels different when you are challenging yourself on a daily basis and medical science proves that as well, daily dose of high intensity combat training which not necessarily is preparing for an MMA fight is something that will help you with a number of amazing health benefits.

You benefit your body when you do any sort of exercise but you do more than that when are doing Mixed martial arts training because it helps you with so much more than that and the most important benefit is regarding the psychological and mental health benefit it has and that is something that many don’t focus on and it ends up becoming their biggest challenge.

ALEX JONES CLAIMS PEPE THE FROG IS A SYMBOL OF HOMOSEXUALITY

ALEX JONES CLAIMS PEPE THE FROG IS A SYMBOL OF HOMOSEXUALITY

In a stunning turn of events late this afternoon, journalist Alex Jones has denounced the Alt-Right movement because he has uncovered definitive evidence that PePe the frog is gay.

The Alt-Right white nationalist movement has long used ‘Pepe’, a cartoon frog, as their unofficial symbol. Jones, noted conspiracy journalist of the Infowars radios show, stirred controversy last year when he claimed that the government was spiking chemicals into the nation,s water supply that allegedly caused frogs to turn into homosexuals.

In a last-minute press conference at the prestigious Steam-works Bathhouse in Chicago, Mr. Jones who has gained mainstream notoriety since our Supreme Leader, Donald J. Trump gave him press credentials to the White House said the following.

Jones: Look, frogs are all gay, right? So if the frogs are all gay because of the chemtrails, it’s obviously a government virus that’s being spread for population control. Anyone who associates themselves with frogs are obviously GAY.

Tucker Carlson: Okay, but how do gay frogs turn patriotic Americans gay? I’m missing something here Mr. Jones.

Jones: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE FROG F**KER! IF I SAY FROGS ARE F**KING GAY, FROGS ARE F**KING GAY! Do you understand me you little Pansy ass freak?

Tucker Carlson: Yes Sir, um.. um.. No sir, I’m not questioning your authenticity, I’m just asking where you’re getting your information? Where are you collecting your data? That’s a bold statement and many of my followers use PePe the frog as their profile photo. I’m not sure how that makes them gay?

Jones: LISTEN HERE YOU BOW TIE WEARING LITTLE B*TCH! WHEN I TELL YOU THAT FROGS ARE F**KING GAY, FROGS ARE F**KING GAY! I HAVE PICTURES YOU LITTLE CLOSET PERVERT AND YOU’RE GAY TOO!

The press conference ended shortly after the exchange took place, and our own Tucker Carlson left the event after spending fifteen minutes in a private room with an unknown interviewee.

We here at Fox News are deeply saddened that so many of our own followers use PePee the frog as their profile picture. Even if the frog isn’t gay, it’s really silly looking.

Although there is no hard scientific evidence to prove Jones’ claims Fox News sent several of out reporters to local pet stores where they did indeed observe male frogs jumping all over each other

STARBUCKS RELEASES COMMEMORATIVE BLACK LIVES MATTER COFFEE CUPS

STARBUCKS RELEASES COMMEMORATIVE BLACK LIVES MATTER COFFEE CUPS

Starbucks announced this week that they would celebrate the release of the new superhero movie “Black Panther’ with a line of commemorative Black Lives Matter coffee cups. The black and brown cups will feature the classic Starbuck’s logo with a BLM logo just above it.

Starbuck’s CEO Kevin Johnson said he believes the move appropriate since it celebrates the progress made by the Black community in the world of mostly White superheroes.

“All our lives we have seen all the White heroes like Superman and Spiderman who were White elitists with privilege. Now this guy, he’s Balck, he’s scary looking, he has claws, and he looks like he could take out a whole army of those Alt-Right Pepe the Frog racists with one or two swipes. As corporate partners of the Black community we need to show our support by offering them pretty cups to drink our liberal coffee products”, Johnson said.

The new reusable cups will cost an extra two dollars and the profits will go to a fund to provide firearms to underprivileged inner-city Black families.

Imam Abdul Azheet-Musaf, founder of the Black Muslim Friendship center and coordinator of the project, hailed the new cups as a giant leap in African-American inclusion and racial equality.

“These cups”, Musaf told Fox News, “we take the money from them and help poor families buy guns. In America, everyone needs a gun. It is part of the American dream to be able to defend your family and for too long only privileged White people in the suburbs have been able to afford firearms. We want to make the African-American community feel like Black Panther. We can’t give them superpowers but we can give them assault rifles.”

“Black Panther” was released Friday nationwide and has broken box office records grossing over $194 Million it’s first weekend.

TWITTER ANNOUNCE MASSIVE PURGE OF ALT-RIGHT ACCOUNTS

TWITTER ANNOUNCE MASSIVE PURGE OF ALT-RIGHT ACCOUNTS

Thousands of Conservatives awoke this morning to find they had been locked out of their Twitter accounts. The purge of Alt-Right accounts, now dubbed by the hashtag #TwitterLockOut , has resulted in some large accounts losing millions of followers and sparked conservative outrage across the internet.

Twitter spokesperson, Pokina Das, denies this is an attempt to silence conservatives and claims this move was orchestrated to remove Russian trolling bots and “Alt-Right hate” from the popular social media platform.

“After the shooting in Florida, we just can’t take anymore,” Das told Fox News,” Most of these profiles are Russians trying to stir up trouble and the rest are probably smelly fat teenagers from 4-Chan. We don’t don’t want to censor anyone but we need to take out the trash and we just don’t have the time to figure out who is who.”

Free speech advocates are outraged by the move but Twitter claims they will reinstate some accounts if users will fill out a claim form, provide two types of picture I.D. and pay a $75 dollar reinstatement fee to have their accounts restored.

Pat Robertson, televangelist and conservative spokesperson, urged calm and offered an alternate explanation.

“We need to just calm down and wait and see what happens,” Robertson said,”It’s quite possible our Lord Jesus is behind this. These people are all good Christians and their accounts may have just been raptured.”

Thousands of outraged conservatives have threatened to delete their accounts but their cries have fallen on deaf ears.

“Let them go if that’s what they want,” an anonymous Twitter spokesman said, “we are just so tired of our platform being used for hate speech and it will save us the trouble of deleting them ourselves.”

TRUMP TO BAN GUNS?

TRUMP TO BAN GUNS?

In a drastic divergence from his usual rhetoric, today President Trump was overheard by Fox News the FB Page White House insider sources speaking about the gun crisis and the possibility of the suspension of the Second Amendment.

It was unclear if this suspension would be considered temporary or permanent. It is said that his decision is heavily influenced by his daughter Ivanka, who has been rumored to have been pushing for nationwide firearm confiscations. We have learned that she has been put in charge of drafting an executive order to handle the matter.

At a speech today:

“No one knew guns would be so hard. We are leaving all options on the table, and Ivanka will be drafting up an order to put on my desk which I will take a look at. Look at my daughter Ivanka. Have you seen her body? Greatest body. One of the classics. I know she’ll do a great job.

“You know, people said we couldn’t beat Hillary. You know, he put out a memo – “You cannot do it.” We cannot let anyone into this country illegally. And radical groups all over the world. Four times more immigration, and they should not under a Trump Administration, and we could not have done a better job. So I don’t know, you tell me folks.”

“So you know we have beautiful women and I get to meet all of these people, folks. It’s all coming in. We have losers. We have a disaster. People are totally illegal and he’s failed us badly. And Hillary’s emails. I was way ahead of everybody. So will we take away the guns? We’ll see. We love the guns. We’ll see. This proves there is absolutely no collusion with Russia.”

More as it develops.

NRA CALLS FOR ARMING OF ALL YOUNG BLACK MALES TO PREVENT POLICE VIOLENCE

NRA CALLS FOR ARMING OF ALL YOUNG BLACK MALES TO PREVENT POLICE VIOLENCE

What do you think about NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch’s proposal to arm more members of poor communities to prevent gun violence?

In a series of comments Thursday Loesch said that more guns on the streets would solve many of our nation’s problems including mass shootings in schools and the epidemic of police officers shooting unarmed Black teens in poor neighborhoods.

“These violent shooters see poor neighborhoods as soft targets,” Loesch told Fox News, “if we could just get more guns in the hands of young Black males these rogue police officers would think twice before they go in guns a blazing and shooting everybody.”

The NRA has proposed a plan that would give tax credits and subsidies from the U.S. Department of Education to provide teachers and poor minority youth with guns and firearms safety training.

President Trump said he was open to looking “at the possibility of giving concealed guns to gun adept teachers and minority youths with military or special training experience.” He added that if trained, teachers and young Black males could “immediately fire back if a savage sicko came to a school or pulled them over with bad intentions” and that they “would solve the problem instantly, before or as soon as police arrive.”

The February 14 shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida sparked numerous teen-led protests in several cities across the US. Many of the student protesters and their parents have called on lawmakers who have received considerable campaign donations from the NRA to be voted out of office.

TRUMP WANTS TO CARRY GUN, ARM WHITE HOUSE STAFF

TRUMP WANTS TO CARRY GUN, ARM WHITE HOUSE STAFF

President Trump proposed a bold new plan to save American taxpayers money and further drain the Washington swamp.

At a Saturday Homeland Security meeting and buffet, Trump proposed a plan where he would issue firearms to qualified White House staff to double as security in addition to their usual White House duties. Trump also indicated he would be willing to carry a gun and take firearms safety training himself.

“I have a lot of great talented people,” Trump said,”the best people, who own guns and really really want to help out around here. You have a lot of bad hombres trying to get in here and I think, I really believe, if they knew my two sons, who are, by the way, very experienced in killing large animals, were in here and armed they would think twice before messing with Trump.”

President Trump who never served in the military because of painful bone spurs also said he would be willing to carry “all the best guns” and submit to firearm safety courses and training. Trump said he already had facilities for the training at his Mar-A-Lago Country Club and could take the courses in between golf rounds.

When asked what would become of White House police and the Secret Service Trump indicated they would either be reassigned or laid off. Possibly to bolster security at Trump Tower in New York and some of his other properties.

Vice President Mike Pence has already applied for conscientious objector status

Fox News reached out to W.H. Chief of Staff John Kelly for clarification but Kelly declined to comment, shook his head, rubbed his chin and walked away. The Secret Service also declined to comment.

DEVOS CLAIMS GUN VIOLENCE IS BECAUSE OF LACK OF FAITH

DEVOS CLAIMS GUN VIOLENCE IS BECAUSE OF LACK OF FAITH

What do you think about Education Secretary Betsy Devos’ claim that putting God back into our public schools would solve gun violence?

DeVos appeared on “60 Minutes” Sunday night and was unable to answer questions about schools in her own state. She has been criticised roundly four the interview, critics saying it shows she is uninformed and not qualified for the job.

Monday afternoon, DeVos defended herself on Fox News, saying, “What the 60 minutes interview does not highlight is my faith in God and Biblical principles that would have kept violent marijuana addicts like the school shooter in Florida from hating his fellow man. A few ‘gotch’ questions does not show the American people how my heart is filled with the shed blood of Jesus.”

 

Devos has advocated for more guns in schools in the past saying that rural schools need to protect children from grizzly bears and other dangerous wildlife.

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she’s not sure if the president saw the entire interview. But sSources tell Fox News’ Sean Hannity that administration officials inside and outside the White House are regarding the interview as uneven and ill-prepared. However, right now she still has a vote of confidence from the president who put DeVos in charge of a commission that will focus on putting God back in our public schools.

FIRST LADY CALLS FOR IVANKA TRUMP TO BE FIRED

FIRST LADY CALLS FOR IVANKA TRUMP TO BE FIRED

WASHINGTON — In an extraordinary move for a first lady, Melania Trump’s office on Wednesday publicly called for the firing of a Ivanka Trump as first daughter and advisor to President Trump.

Stephanie Grisham, the first lady’s communications director issued a statement around 4:30 p.m. saying the blonde bombshell should no longer serve as an advisor or family member to the President.

“It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that Ivanka no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House,” Grisham said.

This came only one day after the first lady called for the firing of Mira Ricardel, a senior National Security Council staff member.

It is rumored that Ivanka Trump and Melania Trump don’t have the warmest relationship.The first lady has been suspicious of Ivanka ever since a Howard Stern interview when President Trump stated he wanted to “date his daughter.” There have always been suspicions surrounding this statement enhanced by the rumors that Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, is actually a transgender woman.

There’s never been a first daughter quite like Ivanka. She is directly involved with policy- making, and strives to be considered as one of her father’s hottest advisers. Even though there’s not much overlap between her and the first lady, her role in the White House is reportedly causing tension. According to the New York Times, her relationship with Melania is “complicated.” President Trump reportedly touches Ivanka much more often than he does the first lady which leads to confusion.

Chief of Staff John Kelly reportedly has to act as mediator between Ivanka’s staff and Melania’s staff when this sort of tension arises. Kelly has previously been quoted describing the Trump children’s involvement in their father’s administration as “playing government.” Apparently, Kelly, a former Marine Corps general, had to intervene when both women posed for photo ops with black children within days of each other.

According to the Times, while Melania was in Ghana as part of her tour of Africa,she held a baby upside down swinging it like a purse, and the photo was distributed to the press, and video of the meeting was posted to the first lady’s Instagram.

The White House declined to comment and threatened to revoke the press passes of anyone reporting on this story.

TRUMP CREATES NEW WHITE FRIDAY HOLIDAY

TRUMP CREATES NEW WHITE FRIDAY HOLIDAY

President Trump helped kick off the traditional Fox News ‘War on Christmas’ season by announcing a new initiative to allow Christians to take their holiday back and make America great again.

The President announced that the shopping day following Thanksgiving, formerly known as “Black Friday”, would instead be referred to by all government agencies henceforth as “White Friday.” Black Friday was a shopping day for a combination of reasons. As the first day after the last major holiday before Christmas, it marks the unofficial beginning of the Christmas shopping season. Additionally, many employers give their employees the day off as part of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. it was unofficially dubbed “Black Friday” since most stores make huge profits and go “in the black” doing a large part of their yearly business during the season starting on this day.

“I’m so thankful for all the wonderful things I have done this year”, Trump said at an appearance Thanksgiving day,”now I want to celebrate the huge shopping day tomorrow by making it a little more cheery. From now on we should call it ‘White Friday’ because black just makes people feel depressed and make people want to sit around listening to all the lies about collusion in the fake news media. I know the haters will try to say this is racist. It has nothing to do with race. The blacks have a lot of fun buying and looting things on this day too. They already have black history month and Martin Luther King day which commemorates the day Dr. King got shot. Why can’t White people have a nice day of shopping named after them? I mean most of the stores are owned by White people, and some Jews, anyway.

Although the executive order is not legally binding, the President hopes people will respect the new rule in the spirit of national unity.

About 38 percent of American consumers plan to shop on Black Friday this year, and six in 10 of those shoppers anticipate making at least half of their holiday purchases on that day, a Reuters/Ipsos poll showed last week. Over a trillion dollars in sales is expected today and over the weekend.

GOFUNDME BORDER WALL MONEY TO BE USED TO FUND AMUSEMENT PARK

GOFUNDME BORDER WALL MONEY TO BE USED TO FUND AMUSEMENT PARK

SUNLAND PARK, NM - JUNE 01: Construction crews work on a border wall being put in place by We Build The Wall Inc. on June 01, 2019 in Sunland Park, New Mexico. We Build the Wall is a non-profit organization that is funding the private construction of the border wall in an attempt, they say, to stem the flow of migrants and others from coming across the border illegally from Mexico into the United States. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Brian Kolfage, a triple-amputee Iraq War veteran responsible for the GoFundMe page that raised more than $15 million for Donald Trump’s border wall, has reported that there is no way to get his money legally to the government. Government regulations reportedly do not allow contributions for public projects, so Kolfage has launched a scheme to open a religious-themed amusement park to funnel the money to Homeland Security via taxes on the park.

“If everyone who voted for Trump would contribute $80”, Kolfage has claimed, “the wall could be paid for. Therefore, I will open a business to pay the government through taxes much the same way Mexico will pay us back for the wall from all the taxes we get from their cars, and tequila, and tacos, and those big funny hats we import.”

Kolfage states his park will be based on a Biblical story much like the wildly successful Noah’s Ark theme park in Kentucky.

“I’m leaning toward doing one based on the story of Samson”, Kolfage told Fox News,”We could get some big actor, like Scott Baio maybe, to come out in a wig and throw fake rocks around. Then get some other actors to play liberals who grab Samson and cut his hair off and then he gets all wimpy and snowflakey and can’t pick up the rocks anymore. Then he prays to Jesus and gets his strength back and kills all the liberals. It’s a pretty cheap price to pay to show everyone the power of God’s love with some styrofoam rocks and fake blood.”

Kolfage set up the GoFundMe page out of frustration that the Congress has so far failed to commit funds to build the wall. “We’re not getting just people who voted for Trump now,” Kolfage told Fox. “I’m getting messages from many Democrats, Russians, concrete companies, and Macedonian teenagers, who say they support this wall.”

Kolfage had named himself CEO of the project and will reportedly pay himself a generous salary to oversee the operation.

“I have to eat too and I will not apologize for my success.” Kolfage said, “Hey I am a triple amputee and I need to get some prosthetics to properly do my job. I saw this really cool arm you can change out the hands on. One day I could have a regular hand, next day I could have a machine gun hand, I think they have a chainsaw and a lasergun attachment too. I’m looking into it.”

Kolfage told Fox News that he has connections in the White House that can make sure all of his GoFundMe tax dollars will directly fund the border wall, saying “we have a lot of people watching this,” which would “serve as a motivating factor not to screw this up.”